If a studio were to create a show about a British soccer fanatic who flew to America to take a job coaching a strange sport — a reverse "Ted Lasso," if you will — Goldstein would be the perfect lead.
His soccer fanaticism is well established. Football and baseball, on the other hand, are basically foreign languages to him.
"You call it football, but you use your hands, so ... what are you doing?" he said on "Late Night with Seth Meyers." "I've watched the Super Bowl five times. It stops every three seconds, then there's an advert, then something happens, then there's a chat and mics, people talking ... Americans must be geniuses because I've watched it five times and still have no idea what's going on."
Then there's America's pastime.
"I love baseball because of the baseball films, but what I realize about baseball films is they cut out all the game shows and the adverts," he said on Meyers' show. "There's an advert every minute, people brought on the field to fire a T-shirt at you."
And if flying apparel wasn't treacherous enough, Goldstein has a warning to any fans in U.S. sports arenas.
"The worst of all the American sports is at any point you're in danger of being put on camera and you have to get off with the person next to you. It's not safe."
