Superman Returns isn't just terrible, it's the kind of terrible that makes you wonder how it happened. It's mystifying on every level, starting with the fact that it's meant to be a sequel to the director's cut of Superman II—not the theatrical release, which was completed by Richard Lester, but Richard Donner's original version, which had only been released on DVD a few years earlier. That's a weird place to start with a project that's meant to reintroduce movie audiences to Superman after 19 years, even if you can get past the fact that it ignores the two sequels to Superman II that already exist.
Even beyond the confusing origins of the film, the version of Superman that the movie presents us is remarkably unappealing. After leaving Earth for five years to check and see if Krypton was still blown up (it was), Superman returns (like the title says) to find that Lois Lane has been spending the intervening years raising their five-year-old child. She doesn't know it's their child, though, because of all the things director Bryan Singer wanted to keep from Donner's Superman movies, Superman wiping Lois's memory with an Amnesia Kiss was one of them. With that established, Superman mopes around, basically stalking his ex-girlfriend for two hours and getting involved with Lex Luthor's latest real estate scheme and some hamfisted Christ imagery.
The most frustrating part about the whole thing is that Brandon Routh is actually good in the role. He's got a great look, he comes off as genuine and heroic, and he's incredibly likable—he just happens to be playing a version of Superman that's none of those things. Fortunately, he'd go on to play another DC superhero, the Atom, on Legends of Tomorrow, and being likable is basically that guy's super-power.
